I have had the same discussion internally for YEARS.  How much do I want to brand myself with my disability?

I don’t want to be defined by what I have.  I don’t want that to be the first and/or only thing people see when the talk to me, or read this blog, or look at any of my social media sites for that matter.

But here’s the deal.  It’s a HUGE part of my life, and while I have been working on my health so I feel as good as I possibly can each and every day, some days…it takes everything out of me, just to make it through my 8-5 job.  I have been writing drafts upon drafts for posts, and I have pages filled with places I want to take pictures of, or things that I want to take videos of, for my youtube channel.  I love that I have all of these ideas, and while most of the time it’s super motivating to pour over those ideas, I have to reel it in a little. As of right now, I have at (best case scenario..) a month before I can drive, or go back to work.  GAH that seems like such a long time!  I am going to take it as a good sign though, that I am getting a little restless, and cabin fever-y.

I have shifted the focus of my youtube channel to a “how to” series of some DIY/recipes/adulting/anything else I can think of while I am kind of home bound.

I have been out of the house once since I got home from the hospital, and that was to go to my 2 week post op appointment. After that my mom took me out to brunch because I was so excited to be out of the house. The restaurant we went to is called Mr. Burger, it’s a local chain here in Grand Rapids. It’s pretty common to see lots of older folks enjoying coffee and food there any time of the day, which is why I was pretty shocked that they didn’t have an handicapped accessible door. That got me thinking about where I am in the life, and my immediate future.  If my mom hadn’t been with me, I’m not sure I would have been able to get into the building. The doors were very heavy, and to get you had to pull. I am not able to put my full weight on my right leg, and have to use a walker with wheels to get around still.

As we drove home, it dawned on me that I don’t hear much about handicapped accessible accommodations, or lack there of, around town. And how great would it be to raise more awareness for this invisible disease! So its kind of nice to feel like I found my focus for the short term future writing plans.